Updated: Nov 10, 2019
Right Lovely people, this post is all about the guest list.
More specifically who you should invite and who you shouldn't.
I want you to be able to walk away from reading this, knowing exactly how to cull that list of 6,000 guests down to your perfect number.
So let's start by you writing down every single person you think you want to invite to your wedding and even those you FEEL YOU SHOULD invite. You may even need to add some people you're requested to invite as well- tough subject and we will talk about it.
Ok so these guys should really be your definite's! But what about the family members that don't fall within your inner circle shall we say? That cousin you haven't seen in years, your godmother who you actually haven't seen in over 15 years. this is one of the most complicated parts of the guest list, because you'll get the 'but they're family' quote thrown out. However my saying still stands, "you do you!" - preferably with offending as minimal people as possible.
Do you want a child free wedding? Don't feel awkward about this one at all.
What you do however need to consider is if you are having some kids. that's when you can either open a can of worms, or accidentally offend people. So just think about it.
How do you tell your guests that you've decided not to invite children? Well there are so many fun ways to write it in your invites or wedding website! You can say you want your friends to be able to have a night off and celebrate with you.
This can be a bit of an awkward one. Some parents request for their friends to be invited to your wedding. They may say, 'they've known you since you were a child'. This is where you really need to suss out with your partner, how you want to play it. There is no right or wrong answer here.
How much will it offend your parents if you were to say no?
Are you actually ok with the request?
Is your budget too tight to be adding people that aren't your friends or someone you would have invited yourselves?
Can they come to just the evening reception instead?
Are your parents paying for your wedding? If so they do have a little more say in this- it's tough. Discuss all these factors before making your decision.
Ok so do you invite your best friends from school? Well if you haven't seen or spoken to them in 2 years no! But if you are still close, then of course you do. What about the friends wedding you went to about 4 years ago, but you have actually drifted apart since then? Well if you don't really see them and don't feel it's right, then you do not have to 'repay the favour'. Even if you were a bridesmaid for them at their wedding! Remember you are paying for each of these people to attend your wedding. It really adds up, so think about who really means the most to you. Obviously If you feel you would still like them there then go for it.
The plus one! Do not hand these out lightly! these are the guests that you basically won't know! This is were you really have to access each situation, there are no hard and fast rules!
So for example if your friend is with a new partner but they seem happy and steady, then you can put them both down on the list. If you haven't met them, it's your call. You could always invite them to just the evening if numbers or budget are a little tight. If however you have a friend coming to your wedding who you know, will know absolutely know one else, then this is a nice occasion to hand them out a plus one! These rules are flexible you see!
If you decide you need help managing your guest list we can help as part of our wedding planning services, so pop over an email and lets chat over how we can help you further.
Vikkie, Creative Director and Founder